"Is it me or does it look like James Franco would cut his arm off to get out of hosting the Oscars?"
Komikern Kevin Nealon.

"Watching the Oscars. Not crazy about the womb Natalie Portman's baby chose to wear."
TV-profilen Conan O'Brien

"I might switch over to the Puppy Bowl." 
Komikern Rob Huebel

And now, Gwyneth Paltrow, in a tribute to the saying Don't Quit Your Day Job."
Komikern Andy Borowitz.

"What I've learned so far watching the Oscars: I need to buy nicer envelopes."
Steve Young, manusförfattare på "Late night".

"Please have the baby right now, Natalie."
Komikern Michael Ian Black.

"No African American nominees? If you're black and want to make it on Hollywood this year, you better be a swan."
Tv-profilen Bill Maher

"Daniel Day Lewis has the depth of commitment to the craft of acting to die just to liven up next year's death montage."
Komikern Patton Oswalt.

This night will be a waste if Anne Hathaway and James Franco don't do their hilarious "Who's On Firth» bit."
Paul Mesella, som skriver manus till "Late night".

"Stay tuned for the official Republican rebuttal to the Oscars shortly after the show."
The Onion.